


My Blue Heaven

by roxymissrose



Category: SPN
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, episode:s05e06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2011-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-21 15:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxymissrose/pseuds/roxymissrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is this story about? Well, it's about Jesse, a character from the SpN ep <span class="u">I Believe The Children Are Our Future.</span> It's about Christmas and good things happening. It's about what people in love do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Blue Heaven

There was the beach, long miles of it, quiet as the grave. And the sky, blue as blue can be, cloudless and full of the sun. The beach was picture postcard perfect, golden grains warm as a mother's touch, soft as sugar and lovely to walk on.

Or lie on, and that's what the young man was doing now, lying on a towel on the most private beach ever, and watching white froth dance up and down across the swell of the waves. Aquamarine, sapphire, opal…all the colors of the ocean. Pretty. Restful. He liked it a lot. But just now he was feeling a little less than content…he was feeling a little lonely. Lonely made him sad and sad made him want to break his promise. Something he can't do.

A corner of his perfect sky shimmered and a bird plopped out onto the beach, looking comically startled—so much so that the young man laughed. The bird shook its wings out and shook its head, rolled its beady black eyes and clacked its beak once—twice. It shuddered from beak to wide webbed foot in a little wobbly dance, and then there were two young men on the beach, one blonde and thin with very young eyes, and one brown-haired and tall with very pale eyes.

"What's going on out there? Did they stop it yet?" the blonde asked and the other shook his shoulders, floppy brown hair flying.

"No. They think they did but it's still going on."

Jesse sighed. "They'll fix it. Eventually. I could tell. If it gets too bad, though…"

"You can't. You know you're not supposed to interfere. That's what he said, right? Besides, it will all work out exactly as it's supposed to. You know that's the truth."

"That's true, Sammy, I know you'd never lie to me."

Sam that Jesse made from out of Dean's thoughts shook his head. "Never ever." He leaned forward, bony knees digging into the golden sand, sending a tiny avalanche onto Jesse's beach towel. "You're missing your mom and dad, aren't you?"

Jesses gulped, and his eyes welled up, his lip quivered a bit. He nodded, too afraid to speak; even though he knew Sammy would never make fun of him for crying, not ever ever. Sammy loved him, just like he loved Sammy.

Sammy leaned forward and touched his forehead to Jesse's. "You want to see?" He raised his hands and trapped Jesse's face softly between them. "Take a look."

Jesse felt a swirling warm wind blow through him. He twisted his eyes tightly shut and Sammy opened his mind and Jesse pushed against the little door between them and he saw them, Mom and Dad. They looked…happy. No, not happy, they looked like they'd gotten used to living without him. "They wouldn't know me anyway." He'd grown himself up, a little—people didn't pay attention to little boys—he was finding out they didn't pay much attention anyway.

"They would know you, if they saw you—they just would." Sammy stroked his cheek, "I told them you were happy. That you missed them but you were happy and would come see them some day. I told them here," Sammy said and pressed his index finger against Jesse's forehead.

"Thank you, Sammy. Thank you."

Sam that Jesse made smiled at him, and he looked like what Jesse imagined the other Sam would look when he smiled, the Sam who trusted him, and told him the truth. Jesse looked up at the sun that was his, shining bright in his little bubble world that he made and thought about going home some day. He wanted to, but he knew the time wasn't now. Some day.

Sammy scooted closer until they were shoulder to shoulder. "I have a secret," Sammy whispered, "Do you want to know it?"

Jesse pretend-rolled his eyes, "No, numb-nuts—duh. You know I do," he giggled.

"It's Christmas," Sammy said.

"Oh!" Christmas, Jesse thought, Christmas. "If it's Christmas, we need a tree….and gifts, and, and…"

Sammy turned his head, and Jesse turned his head and Sammy pressed a dry little kiss against Jesse's sun-warmed mouth. They held the kiss for a heartbeat until Sammy sighed. "Is this a good gift?" he asked, dipping his head, and hiding his eyes behind his floppy bangs, something he did sometimes when he was embarrassed—a small thing but Jesse liked it when he did.

Jesse nodded. "Oh yes." It was a real good gift. Kissing was for people in love, he knew this. He smiled, and all the loneliness he had started to lift away in the sight of Sam he made until a prickly thought poked him…"Wait." He frowned. "Does that mean you _love me,_ love me?"

"Of course I do," Sammy said, "of course."

"Because I made you, because you _have_ to?"

"You're a silly boy," he said and pulled Jesse closer. "You can make a person love you, but you can't make them care."

"What?" Jesse tried to puzzle it out. "What's the difference?"

"I care what happens to you, I want to make you happy, even if it means keeping you from what you want to do. I want you safe, even if it means making you unhappy. I want you to grow, and leave this place when you have to. I want you…to want me to come with you. I care, Jesse. I care if you love me too."

Jesse thought about that. He reached out to hold Sammy's hand. "Merry Christmas, Sammy. You know what? I _love_ my gift." They sat quietly, letting the waves come close but never too close. After a while, Jesse asked, "Can you sing a song about Christmas?"

"I do know one you might like," Sammy said, and started to sing, the words coming in a faint whisper, "Adeste Fideles, laeti triumphantes…."

Even after Sammy stopped the song kept on, skipping over the waves, rolling over the sand and floating in the air.

They watched his personal sun set, sitting close and holding hands and Sammy's head on his shoulder, because that's what people in love did.

He bet his Australia was better than anyone else's.

  
12-17-2010


End file.
